Do you ever just want to be alone? It's not like we crave loneliness, particularly, but sometimes people can be overwhelming. Sometimes we want to let loose by ourselves. Similar to how it's uncomfortable having someone watch you sleep, many find it difficult to fully relax when there are other people around. As a result, they like to spend time alone. This alone time is beneficial to the person, but it might mean doing less to help those around them, or not seeing loved ones as much. As a result, some people feel guilty for spending time alone. Does God really frown upon alone time, though?
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God is a loving Father. Fathers always want what's best for their children, and God is no exception. Our heavenly Father wants what's best for us. Another indisputable fact is that some people need to be alone to recharge. Because of the fall, people need rest, and God designed us to do that in different ways. Human nature is deeply flawed, which is why we get tired in the first place, however, God doesn't have anything against the natural way we counteract this tiredness. Jesus even says specifically that He wants us to rest in passages like Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
You might be thinking that the above verse doesn't apply, because Jesus was speaking of coming to Him, not hiding away by ourselves. The truth is, for a Christian, the two things aren't far apart. The Holy Spirit is always with us, so even when we're alone, He's still with us. Obviously there's a difference between coming to God in prayer and just lying in bed and staring at Facebook, but God is with us through it all. Psalm 139:7-8 says, "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!"
God is always with us, and we were actually created to serve Him. This means that we don't live our lives for other people. We live them for God. One way we serve God is by serving others; helping them out and brightening their days. Another way to serve God, though, is to take care of the body and mind that He's given us. Oftentimes this means taking some time by ourselves. Of course, the main way we praise God is directly; by talking to Him, reading His word, and spreading the gospel. Our calling does require us to have contact with other people to some extent. In fact, Christian fellowship is very important. Still, there are many aspects of serving the Lord that can be done alone and even work better that way.
Throughout the Bible, people have talked to God and met with Him when they were otherwise alone. In the Old Testament, Abraham and Mosas were by themselves when speaking with God. After receiving His message, they'd pass it on to others. In the New Testament, Jesus Himself went off alone to pray. "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, He got up, went out, and made His way to a deserted place. And He was praying there" (Mark 1:35).
Alone time in itself is not bad. It is a valuable tool given to us by God for rest. As important as it is to spend time with others, it's also important to take care of our bodies and minds. Ultimately, our purpose is to serve God. As people, we could stand to spend more time in God's word and less time doing anything else we may want to do alone, but even these things aren't sinful. The most important thing is to balance the way we spend our time, taking rests alone when we need it, and making room for God in our day.
Don't you love getting lost in a good book? Isn't it fun to text back and forth with your digital friends? Do you enjoy putting headphones on and letting yourself be transported to a different world through music? Maybe you're online playing video games or watching a video of your favorite celebrity. Besides being enjoyable, these activities all have something in common. Digital friends, celebrities, books, games, and music all take us out of the ordinary reality that’s right in front of us. They do this either by connecting us to something or someone miles and miles away, or by opening the door to an entirely fictional world. It’s undeniably fun to get lost in these fantasies, but can it go too far? At one point does a temporary escape from reality become a disconnection from the real world?
In the twenty-first century, it isn’t uncommon for someone to have friends that they’ve never personally met. Thanks to social media and online gaming, individuals who have never met can communicate with each other and form friendships. There are many benefits to this. Online friendships are often easier to start than in-person ones, as many people tend to be more outgoing online than they are in person. They’re more likely to reach out, and once they do, a bond can often grow faster than it would in person, as it’s easier to discuss serious topics and personal issues over text. An article posted on Psychology Today states that, "Another benefit of online friends is the freedom we feel to share information with those that we are unlikely to ever meet in person as we don’t fear later shame or that feeling of ‘retroactive embarrassment’ . . . We are unlikely to be seeing this person on a frequent basis, so we won’t be reminded of our vulnerability and personal revelations. Our ‘confessions’ are limited to a containable space and shared with people we actually never have to engage with again, if we choose not to," (Degges-White). While this is a true benefit, the flip side is that you don’t need to be committed to an online friendship. It’s easy to lose friends made online, as they can easily block you or switch accounts, or disappear for months with no explanation. A connection may be built through self-disclosure online, but that doesn’t mean that the other party feels that connection as keenly, or that the connection will last. Of course, this can also be the case with real life friendships, but it’s a lot harder to leave a friendship that’s been built up over a long period of time, and it’s difficult to avoid someone who you could easily run into at the grocery store.
Even if an online friendship is felt genuinely on both sides, that doesn’t necessarily mean it would work out in real life. Quoting the same article as above, "The three most common ‘motivating factors’ for friendship development include shared interests, shared activities, or proximity," (Degges-White). When building friendships online, the focus is mainly on this first factor: shared interests. However, a person’s life isn’t usually encompassed in just one interest, and they might even grow out of this thing they enjoy which originally sparked conversation. Some online friendships can withstand this change as they grow and develop, however, there are times when the entire connection relies solely on this one interest. In addition, people have complete control of what they share online, and so they can very easily hide some aspect of their personality, an aspect that could potentially end negotiations for a real life friendship. Basically, when you meet someone over the internet, you might not be meeting the full person. Again, this can happen offline as well, but it’s much easier behind a screen.
An article on The Guardian points out: "The expectations that online friends have of one another are also different. I am more understanding of the fact that a virtual friend has a whole life outside our friendship. My online friends can pick up their phone, be there for me and then put their phone (and me) back down afterwards," (Floyer). If these boundaries are understood, digital friendship is a beautiful thing. It’s a way to easily communicate with others about shared interests or everyday struggles, and maybe learn new things about different people or cultures. That said, online friends can be disappointing when too much is expected of them. The same article comes to the conclusion that individuals should have a healthy balance of online and offline friendships.
Following a celebrity online is similar to an online friend in that it's someone far away that you feel a connection to over the internet. The difference, however, is that this connection is one-sided, as most celebrities have no idea you even exist. This can result in a parasocial relationship if someone gets too obsessed with a favorite celebrity, however, appreciating someone's talent or beauty and even feeling as if they're one of your friends isn't unhealthy in itself. Celebrities can have a wonderful impact on their fans, teaching them important lessons and acting as a positive influence, or a comfort during difficult times. It doesn't need to be a two-way friendship, as long as it isn't substituted for that type of interaction.
Following a celebrity isn't always a good thing, though. Celebrity Worship Syndrome is a condition where someone is so obsessed with a famous person that it affects their daily life in a negative way. This is when the obsession begins to prevent real-life experiences. The condition often brings narcissism with it as well. Celebrity Worship Syndrome is thought to be caused, or at least helped along by, preexisting mental health issues. Instead of turning to celebrities for happiness, people with mental issues should turn to those around them for real help (Maltby, John, et. al.).
Even when it doesn't become a disorder, following celebrities can often cause other problems for young people. Celebrities can be a positive influence, but they can also promote dangerous or unhealthy activities such as smoking, drugs, and extreme diets. Furthermore, while some celebrities are very open about body image and mental health issues, others can be very damaging to the confidence of young people. Studies show that about 80% of teenage girls compare the way they look to celebrities. Of this number, about half of these girls feel bad about how they look in comparison (Mannino). Celebrities present an overly-perfect and highly stylized version of themselves that everyone wants to look like, but few actually do. While following celebrities can be wholesome and fun, it can also do psychological damage to young people if it goes too far or is focused on the wrong things.
Sometimes if it’s a musician someone is obsessed with, the focus isn’t on the celebrity as much as it’s on their music. Like people who are far away, music can connect us to other people’s reality. It can also create an entirely new fantasy world. Many people use music as an escape, as it has been shown to increase positive feelings. It’s scientifically proven to preserve pathways in the brain that make people happy. In fact, music activates your entire brain, preserving numerous important pathways that would otherwise be weakened by lack of use. That said, listening to the wrong music can be damaging, as certain music has been found to increase angry feelings and violent behavior. Music can be counterhelpful if it distracts from important activities that require a high level of concentration, but it can also aid in productivity. Whether music is helpful or harmful to an activity depends on the activity and the listener. Overall, music is beneficial in its place, and actually aids the mind in many ways. Still, the wrong music at the wrong time can do more harm than good to an individual.
Video games actually help the brain in many ways, similar to music. Despite this fact, certain circles still regard video games in a negative light. This is because of the problems that occur when a video game becomes an obsession. Besides taking away from real life, a gaming addiction can cause problems with sleep and mental health, and could cause one to gain unhealthy weight. Like with music, the wrong games can also promote violent behavior. Despite these issues, there are many benefits to gaming. It’s actually wonderful exercise for the brain, and helps with problem-solving skills and planning. In addition, gaming can increase an individual’s hand-eye coordination as well as their reflexes. Online games can also provide the chance to connect with an entire community of gamers, besides simply being a fun way to relieve stress. An article on the subject by Andrew E. Budson concludes, "In short, playing video games can be fun and a social activity when integrated into a healthy lifestyle that includes plenty of sleep, exercise, and good nutrition, rather than letting the game become your life," (“Why is Music”).
Unlike games, books are commonly accepted as beneficial. There is some bias against certain novels, but most reading is considered good. Reading fiction is certainly a worthwhile activity, and the action of taking in words is beneficial to the mind. Still, even reading has its downsides. Some books may contain scenes or ideas that are harmful or inappropriate; it’s never a good idea to insert this into your mind. The main problem, however, comes when reading interferes with the responsibilities and enjoyment of life. One article puts it this way: "Living in a world of dreams populated by fictional characters, readers miss out on the enjoyment to be found in real life and real people," (Dali).
The push and pull of fantasy and reality is capitalized in a certain psychodramatic technique, the magic shop. To start off, psychodrama is defined as, "A method of group psychotherapy in which participants take roles in improvisational dramatizations of emotionally charged situations," (“Psychodrama”). The magic shop in particular is an imaginary storefront where the therapist plays the shopkeeper and customers can purchase certain traits or behaviors instead of actual objects. The shopkeeper guides the transaction, and through the process customers learn what they really need to change in themselves; what qualities they have too much of, and what ones they need more of. The idea is to leave the exercise with a better understanding of who you are, and to apply the imaginary trades and purchases to real life.
Leni M. F. Verhofstadt-Denève divides the magic shop into several steps. First is the warm up, where the therapist playing the shopkeeper describes the shop. After reflecting on the imaginary shop's appearance, the shop opens. Customers enter the shop in search of a certain quality, and they do a skit, or mini-drama, which demonstrates why they need the quality. After the skit, customers return to the shop and “try on” the quality, which leads to another mini-drama with the quality. After that they return to the shop and negotiate what could be given for this trait, or which trait may be a better fit than this one. Once a decision is reached, the imaginary transaction is made and the customers return to the main group to reflect. Once the shop closes, the group as a whole discusses together and shares what they learned or received from the magic shop (“The ‘Magic Shop’ Technique”). This exact format might not be followed by everyone who uses this exercise. Some magic shops may be more relaxed than others, but the general procedure remains the same.
Fantasy is the foundation and driving force of the magic shop. Earl Koile puts it this way: “Fantasy is a prime source of creative and innovative thinking and behavior. Fantasy can break us out of the prisons of conformity, fixed and rigid ways of thinking and being, and can lift us to new ideas and more imaginative alternatives in dealing with “real” problems and in arriving at solutions and resolutions. Fantasy not only allows but also nourishes thoughts and feelings that may be against the rules or represent forbidden territory,” (“The Magic Shop: The Therapist”). Fantasy gives free realm to explore the uncharted, to see our issues in a different light. When we feel stuck on a problem, it often helps to view the issue differently, and this is exactly what fantasy allows us to do.
Even with a very basic understanding of the magic shop technique, it’s obvious that self reflection must take some role. As it turns out, there are six dimensions of self that come into play in several areas of psychology, including the magic shop. The six dimensions are self-image, ideal-self, alter-image, meta-self, ideal-meta-self, and ideal-alter. These represent how you see yourself, who you’d like to be, how you see others, how others see you, how you’d like others to see you, and who you’d like others to be, respectively. An article cited above states four actions of the magic shop that help people to understand the different dimensions: “(1) The activation of self-reflection on the six Self-Dimensions; (2) a growing awareness and integration of interdimensional and intradimensional oppositions, and discovery of alternative interpretations of oneself and one's environment; (3) the recognition and acceptance of existential conditions; (4) a strengthening of self-confidence through self-appreciation and positive evaluation by significant others," (Verhofstadt-Denève). Basically, the magic shop allows participants to see themselves more accurately by targeting specific psychological dimensions. The magic shop encourages self-reflection over who we are in relation to everybody else. It also draws attention to different interpretations of the same people as well as conditions that exist beyond argument. Finally, the exercise strengthens self-confidence through a positive and appreciative environment.
There are several ways in which the magic shop represents a balanced scale. It is a serious exercise, however, humor is often an integral aspect, as the exercise is performed in a lighthearted group setting. "Although the actual implementation of the magic shop may differ considerably among authors, they all proceed on a common basis, notably a remarkable combination of playfulness and seriousness, humor and pain, of dream and reality, which constitutes the distinctive healing power of this psychodramatic technique," (Verhofstadt-Denève). Balance can also be seen throughout the steps of the exercise, particularly in the mini-dramas, which are exaggerated. “The reality of the situation is not as dire as it was in the first drama and not as delightfully harmonious as in the restructured one. Real life is somewhere in between and can be considered as the integration of the two extreme mini-dramas," (Verhofstadt-Denève). A third form of contrast and balance in the magic shop is between differing qualities. “To the extent that someone is a particular kind of personality, he or she is not some other, different personality. To the extent that we have some outstanding, positive personal traits, we will also lack other particular personal traits,” (Barbour). To become one thing, we often need to give up something else, since nobody can be everything at once. The purpose of the magic shop is to evaluate the importance of all of these qualities and decide which are most important for any given individual. In any case, the magic shop is full of games between opposing forces.
While the Magic Shop is just pretend and nothing is actually bought or sold, the problems being talked about are very real, and the qualities given to fix them are indeed needed. The only step left is to learn to use the "purchased" traits. Although this exercise isn't guaranteed to make a difference beyond the time when it's performed, if the lessons learned don't transfer into real life, it isn't a Magic Shop at all, but just a decorated game of pretend. In other words, the Magic Shop is really the bridge between fantasy and reality at its core. The solutions wouldn't be reached without pretending, but they wouldn't be of any use if not taken back to the real world.
To sum it all up, there are many fun activities that transport us out of the world right in front of us and into a different reality. Things like digital friends, celebrities, music, video games, and books can be beneficial to many areas of the mind and of life, but they can be harmful if they become an obsession. How can this be avoided? The answer is shown in the magic shop: fantasy is helpful when used as a means of learning, and when we take the lessons with us back into the real world.
Works Cited:
“Are Online and Real Life Friendships the Same? How the Internet makes a Difference.” Regain, BetterHelp. 17 May 2023. Web. 17 May 2023.
Avramova, Nina. “How Music Can Change the Way You Feel and Act.” CNN Health, Cable News Network. 20 Feb. 2019. Web. 21 May 2023.
Barbour, Alton. “Purpose and Strategy Behind the Magic Shop.” JGGPS–Fall 1992, JGGPS. 1992. Pdf. 16 May 2023.
Barone, Ryan. “Yes, Video Games are Good…For Your Mind and Body.” iD Tech, iD Tech. 8 Jan. 2023. Web. 22 May 2023.
Budson, Andrew E. “Why is Music Good for the Brain?” Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School. 7 Oct. 2020. Web. 21 May 2023.
Charrani, Bader, et. al. “Association of Video Gaming with Cognitive Performance Among Children.” National Library of Medicine, National Center of Biotechnology Information. Oct. 2022. Web. 22 May 2023.
“Connection Between Celebrity Worship Syndrome and Teen Mental Health.” Newport Academy, Newport Academy. 6 Apr. 2021. Web. 19 May 2023.
Dali, Keren. “On the Dangers of Reading.” NoveList, EBSO. 1 Aug. 2014. Web. 23 May 2023.
Degges-White, Suzanne. “Do Online Friendships Differ From Face-to-Face Friendships?” PsychologyToday, Sussex Publishers. 29 May 2020. Web. 17 May 2023.
Floyer, Yasmina. “‘I was Lacking Deeper Connections’: Can Online Friends be the Answer to Loneliness?” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media Limited. 17 Sep. 2022. Web. 17 May 2023.
“How Celebrities Influence Teens and Why it Matters.” Newport Academy, Newport Academy. 28 Aug. 2022. Web. 19 May 2023.
“How Video Games Can be Beneficial for the Brain.” MAX-PLANCK-GESELLSCHAFT, MAX-PLANCK-GESELLSCHAFT. 30 Oct. 2013. Web. 22 May 2023.
Koile, Earl. “The Magic Shop: The Therapist Masquerades as a Shopkeeper.” Voices: Spring 2011, Voices. 2011. Pdf. 16 May 2023.
Maltby, John, et. al. “A Clinical Interpretation of Attitudes and Behaviors Associated With Celebrity Worship.” The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, PubMed. Feb. 2003. Pdf. 19 May 2023.
Mannino, Brynn. “TODAY/AOL ‘Ideal to Real’ Body Image Survey Results.” Today, Aol. Feb. 2014. Web. 19 May 2023.
“Psychodrama.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com. Web. 16 May 2023.
Verhofstadt-Denève, Leni M. F. “The ‘Magic Shop’ Technique in Psychodrama: An Existential-Dialectical View.” The International Journal of Action Methods: Psychodrama, Skill Training, and Role Playing, Volume 53, No. 1, Heldref Publications. 2000. Pdf. 16 May 2023.
My mind is a shelf of drawers,
Each with different contents;
Brushes and pencils to paint my reality.
Some are set aside to bide their time,
Like words lost between the lines.
Some are open, spilling out
Every time I laugh and shout.
Some are neat.
Some are messy.
Every drawer is part of me.
When it comes to work, whether it's at school, in the home, or at a professional job, there seem to be two kinds of people: those who are extremely motivated at working hard for the best result, and those who do the bare minimum that’s required of them. Of course, most people lie somewhere between these two extremes, but almost everyone leans towards one side or the other. There are several Bible passages, particularly in the book of Proverbs, which condemn laziness. God wants us to live productive lives, serving Him and others. However, some people take this way too far. So here’s the question: what does the Bible say about overworking?
God rested on the seventh day of creation to show us how to regulate our work. Obviously God didn’t need rest, as He is all-powerful. He rested on the seventh day to set an example for us. This example was solidified with the law of rest on the Sabbath, as well as other religious holidays that prohibited work. Leviticus 23:28, 30-32 gives us one example of this: “On this particular day you are not to do any work, for it is a Day of Atonement to make atonement for yourselves before the Lord your God. . . I will destroy among His people anyone who does any work on this same day. You are not to do any work. This is a permanent statute throughout your generations wherever you live. It will be a Sabbath of complete rest for you, and you must practice self-denial. . . .”
Because of the new covenant in Christ, the old law, including its rules for the Sabbath, is no longer in place. However, God’s advice on rest is still the same. An example can be found in Luke 10:38-42, when Jesus visits Mary and Martha. While Martha is busy with her many chores, Martha sits at Jesus’ feet and listens to Him speaking. Martha complains to Jesus that her sister isn’t helping with the work, and this is Jesus’ response: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her” (verses 41b-42). Fellowship with Jesus is far more important than earthly chores. This passage and those in the Old Testament both indicate that a relationship with God is far more important than physical work. Even if you’re working for something good, if it gets in the way of your Christian walk, it will harm you more than it will help you.
Work can mean many different things, from efforts to reach personal goals, to chores done around the house. Many people’s motivation to work, however, is to earn an income and provide for themselves or their family. In any case, it isn’t really our job at all to provide. In Luke 12:22-24, 27-30, Jesus tells His disciples: “Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat; or about the body, what you will wear. For life is more than food and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: They don’t sow or reap; they don’t have a storeroom or a barn; yet God feeds them. Aren’t you worth much more than the birds?. . . Consider how the wildflowers grow: They don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! If that’s how God clothes the grass, which is in the field today and is thrown into the furnace tomorrow, how much more will He do for you—you of little faith? Don’t keep striving for what you should eat and what you should drink, and don’t be anxious. For the Gentile world eagerly seeks all these things, and your Father knows that you need them.” In practical terms, there should be a healthy balance of God’s provision and our effort in terms of day-to-day life. Still, He cares about us, and His plans are always perfect, so He can absolutely allow us to prosper without working ourselves to death every day.
I’m not suggesting that anyone should quit their job or give up on everything they’re striving for, but God does tell us that He will provide, and that a relationship with Him is far more important than anything else we can work for here on earth. God wants us to bring honor to Him. He wants us to work hard, but He also emphasizes the importance of rest. What is the point of achieving anything if, at the end of the day, we’ve forgotten to allow time for the One who gave us the abilities to achieve it? God didn’t create us to be machines. He wants us to work, yes, but He also wants us to slow down and appreciate the world that He created and the life that He gives us. Most importantly, we must slow down to appreciate Him.
I want to stay up all night.
I want to write until my fingers bleed,
Painting with my blood,
And every part of me.
I want to know what it feels like to work hard,
Keep moving through and past the dark.
I want to go until my body breaks,
Destroy myself for something great.
Sleeping early is a sign of weakness.
I’m not good enough
If I don’t work myself sick,
But there’s still a me-sized dent in my bed,
Taunting me as my resolves reach their end.
I hate myself.
I don’t want to be anyone else,
But I wish I could escape me,
Stop being this lazy.
I used to say anything was possible,
But there’s a lot I can’t do,
Always thought I was motivated.
I guess that’s not true.
I’m a loser and I didn’t even know it.
I look in the mirror and hate that me,
But is she really who You see?
You see Your creation,
Tired and broken
But healed by salvation,
Worthy by Your hand,
Though on her own she can’t stand,
A girl doing what she can do,
A girl ready to live for You.
She fails again every day,
But You pick her up,
Just the same.
Tired, weary, and put to the test,
It’s only in You
That she can find rest.
We’re two of a kind, you and I,
Living in both the day and the night.
We each have two modes:
Quiet and loud.
We feel so much more
Then the rest of the crowd.
Our emotions are on a different level.
They’ll never understand.
We value little things in life,
Sweet flowers in our hand.
We want to be a light,
Do all that we can do.
Warm, gentle, and caring,
Yes, that’s me and you.
We’re both so active in spirit,
We just have to let it out,
Try all different things,
Be creative now.
We are the old souls
In our deepest contemplations,
And the most youthful children
In our wonder and our actions.
We are love and light,
Soft, calm comfort,
Blazing fire of compassion,
Vibrant hues of life.
We are contradictions,
Complex mazes of the mind.
Yes, that’s us,
We’re two of a kind.
I hate waking up to your neatly made bed beside mine.
I hate how you're motivated all of the time.
I live on mac'n'cheese while you eat healthy.
I get frustrated and you overflow with positivity.
You can dance choreographed steps around me.
I don't even know about half of your hobbies.
Unlike my mess, you're always aesthetic.
You're so good at everything, it makes me sick.
I'm shaped wrong, but you're perfectly pretty.
You're always cute, not awkward like me.
You're so much faster than me.
You know exactly what you want to be.
You're two steps ahead of me.
I'm two steps behind you.
You're running away, I'm losing hope.
Please wait for me, where did you go?
I'm lost alone.
I don't know what to do.
I just want to be like you.
I don’t want to be a poet,
Writing out my dreams.
I don’t want to be an artist,
Putting images to fantasy.
I don’t want to be a blogger,
Typing out relationships.
I don’t want to be a dancer,
Moving wild and free.
I don’t want to be a singer,
Shouting out a story.
I don’t want to be
Crippled by a dream.
I want to be a daughter,
Making my parents proud.
I want to be a sister,
Giving my siblings smiles.
I want to be a friend,
Giggling through the night.
I want to be an encouragement,
Picking others up.
I want to be a Christian,
Living in the light.
I want to be a human,
Living vibrantly.
Creating magic
In the world around me.
I don’t want to miss a moment,
Focusing on only one thing.
I don’t want to be alone
In my world of beauty.
I want to write.
I want to draw.
I want to blog.
I want to dance.
I want to sing.
I want to have fun.
I want to smile.
I want to talk.
I want to laugh.
I want to help.
I won’t be
Crippled by a dream.
I will be a human.
I will write, draw, blog, dance, and sing.
I will have fun, smile, talk, laugh, and help.
I will live vibrantly.
What if artists
Never aged?
What if dreamers
Stayed the same?
Adults at birth,
Working
For our goals,
Running
For our dreams.
Always young at heart
Never growing old.
Ever rising passion,
Simple wonder at the world.
Age
Is just a number
Maybe
We can choose it.
Old and wise,
Young and vibrant,
What if
We could have it all?
What if
There were no limits?
We all have those weird things we said as kids, right? I know I could fill an entire book with my funny childhood quotes. One thing I did every night when my family prayed before bed was thank God for each of us in turn and then say, “Don’t fowget to love youwsewf!” when I got to me. That is now a family joke, but the three year old goofball that was me actually had a point.
My cute younger self probably drew you in, but now that you know my topic, some of you are probably getting bored. Yes, the love yourself idea may seem a bit overused, unless I’m the only one who gets the suggested posts on Instagram about how “you are enough.” Honestly, I used to think self love was just an overrated trend. Now, however, I feel it’s important to really understand the movement, what it means, and how it can go too far.
I never really knew anything about self love until I started doing yoga with my mom to relieve the stress of school and living
in a house with six kids. We followed Yoga With Adrian on YouTube and she talked a lot about making time for yourself and accepting your body as it is while finding ways to improve that feel good. In one video she said, “Self love; an ongoing regular practice, not something we tap into when we’re down and out, or when we’re in that kind of fight or flight mode, but rather a regular practice.” I took in some of what she said and I thought it made a lot of sense, but to be completely honest, I really just liked doing the poses. I definitely didn’t make self love a regular practice, at any rate.
A few months ago, however, my sister and I started listening to the popular k-pop group, BTS. The band is big on self love, and their songs are what finally helped me get it. This translation from one of their songs, “Answer: Love Myself”, really caught my attention: “Loving myself might be harder
Than loving someone else
Let’s admit it
The standards I made are more strict for myself
...
Now let’s forgive ourselves
Our lives are long, trust yourself when in a maze.”
When you think of yourself, what is the first word that comes to your mind? A few people might respond to this question with “unique” or “creative” or “funny”, but a lot might say “ugly” or “fat” or “stupid”. Now, how would you answer this question about your best friend? If you’re being totally honest, some of you will think of outward flaws first, but, chances are, you’ll quickly slap yourself and focus instead on said friend’s good qualities like kindness or love. What exactly is the difference between you and your best friend that your bad qualities are worse than theirs? Why is the scale different when it’s you? To me, self love is about looking at yourself the way you would look at anybody else because, the fact is, we’re all humans.
Some people might argue that they really don’t have anything to love about themselves. That is untrue. I believe that we were all created by God, who knows what He is doing. To quote Genesis 1:27, “So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them. Male and female He created them.” He made you just the way He wants you. Just like there are flaws in any human, every one of us has something worth loving, too. You just have to try a little. Work to find something about yourself to love and then grow that.
In a speech to the United Nations, RM of BTS said this: “Maybe I made a mistake yesterday, but yesterday’s me is still me. I am who I am today, with all my faults. Tomorrow I might be a tiny bit wiser, and that’s me, too. These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in the constellation of my life. I have come to love myself for who I was, who I am, and who I hope to become.”
Other people may avoid self love because they don’t want to become, well, selfish. This is actually a legitimate concern for some. Self love can go too far. We can start seeing ourselves as perfect and stop trying to improve. It’s important to remember that you are sinful and imperfect, but so is everyone else. It’s about what we focus on, and how we handle ourselves with the flaws. Some people might feel entitled. You don’t deserve the entire world, you deserve what you can get for yourself. Hard work is crucial. Finally, you could become self centered and love yourself more than you love anyone else. This is neither healthy nor kind. The key is balance. Know who you are and who everyone else is. We are all humans. We all have good qualities and bad ones. Treat yourself the way you would treat any other human, no better and no worse.
Self love can be hard and confusing, but it’s worth the effort. I was inspired by the music made by seven people who are all the way across the world from me, so I hope you can be inspired by me, a random teenage girl behind this random post. If nothing else, I hope this can at least be to you what the soothing voice between downward dogs was to me: a start. Remember to look at yourself in the right light, and keep making more things to love.
"I'll always love ponies.”
"No, you won't."
“I’ll never like a boy band."
"Yes, you will."
"I won't be a teenager."
"But you can't choose that."
I was a vibrant little girl,
Always with a smile
And a funny thing to say.
I practically lived in my imagination.
Dad called it Abbyland.
I was always singing along
To the theme songs of my favorite cartoons
Over and over
And playing ponies
All day long
But then the cheesy songs faded out
And the ponies trotted away
Gradually,
So I didn't notice.
Now I'm fourteen years old,
Something I never thought would happen.
Here I am.
I used to think I'd never change,
That I couldn't if I tried.
Now I'm not so sure.
I'm a teenager.
How long before I dress like it?
When will I start to hide myself in makeup?
How long before my dolls go untouched? When will video games rot my mind?
Has it already started?
I like a boy band.
This is the beginning of the end.
Maybe I should just give in
And follow the trends,
But I don't want to be
Just any regular teen.
I'm not giving up on me.
I guess this is normal.
I'm just growing,
But what if we can grow too far?
What if we can forget who we are?
When do we outgrow our personality?
Am I leaving myself behind me?
What if I could just flip back a page
And be that little girl again?
Who is she?
Where is she?
I want her
To still be me.
I guess it's good
That life goes on
And bad times pass,
But what's the price?
The good times fade off, too,
And we're left
To miss ourselves.
I'm thinking all this through,
My mind is one big mess,
When the sun smiles down on me,
Relieving all the stress.
I'm six years old again,
Reaching for the sky.
Limits, they don't matter.
I feel like I can fly.
Nothing has changed.
We don't change.
We can't.
What if we just expand?
I've learned to try new things,
And that is good.
I don't need dolls or ponies to be me,
And that is good.
The present is forming around the past,
Like the rings of a tree
Coming in fast.
The first is still there,
Close to the core.
Maybe it's just hiding
To make room for more.
Maybe if I let it happen
And don't go to extreme or extreme,
It'll happen gracefully
And that tree
Will still be me.
Maybe I should just live for life
And like what I like.
I don’t usually go with the flow,
But I won't try or try not to grow.
Maybe someday I'll buy ripped jeans
And try a croptop,
But if I do,
I hope I'll smile in the mirror
And remember to remember
Every heartbeat that brought me there.
Remember who I was,
Who will still be
Who I am.
Remember to cherish every moment.
I'll learn a little maturity,
But I won't lose me.
I've always been here.
Is it wrong to like good music?
Am I still me if I don't watch kids shows?
The outside doesn't define me.
I know
I will always be
That child
At heart.
When I'm having of a bad day,
I just put you on replay,
And soon I'm ok.
The music gets me inspired.
I want to make worlds,
Just to go higher.
Even if I'm tired,
I'm full of energy
And so I'm ready
To go be me.
I want to hear your song all night.
School starts going extra slow.
I spend twenty minutes on a question I know.
The music is the only thing on my mind.
It's all confusing;
I still feel fueled,
But so ill-timed.
School lasts all day long
And my night is burned on the song.
I have nothing to do with the ideas, you see,
I’ve run out of time to be me.
This is like a drug.
It's like a medicine,
But I'm addicted.
It helps me,
Heals me,
But too much only gets me hurt.
Now I'm sick and burned.
"What did I do?"
I need to balance on this narrow tightrope.
You inspire me to take the best of life,
Make the best in life,
So I just need to stop,
Focus,
Hit reset,
And full speed ahead.
You're my fuel
As long as I'm careful
So you don't become my engine fire.
As long as I don’t start a fire,
You can only bring me higher.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And realize you're beautiful,
Frizzy hair, acne, big nose, double chin, and all.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And let the inside color the outside.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And decide to use the same lens
That you'd use on anybody else
To really see yourself.
It's a magical moment.
When you look in the mirror
And see your flaws
Without letting them define you.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And love the person smiling back at you.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And realize God knew what He was doing
When He put you together.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And realize you don't need it anymore.
Ugh.
I want to scream
Or cry.
My mind is fuzzy.
I want to sleep,
But dreams are better
In the day.
Every morning
I think, ‘This is the day.
Today I'll do everything right.’
Every night
I feel heavy as a weight.
‘Sleep tonight,
I'll do tomorrow right,’
I always tell myself.
So the cycle goes.
Filled with painful ninety percents
On schoolwork
And too many saves on Pinterest.
In between.
My words mean nothing.
I say what I'll do
To start or end the circular day,
But I never do it.
I say it to keep my wheels turning.
I don't want to stop moving.
Even if I ride in the same old ruts
Over and over again,
At least I'm moving.
The circle grows smaller
Little by little.
I'm growing dizzy.
I spiral smaller and smaller
And soon I'll have nowhere to go.
Dizzy, so dizzy.
I need to get out.
I need to break free.
These ruts,
Why do they hold me?
I'm done
Running in circles.
There are infinite tomorrows,
More blank pages,
New roads to explore.
A whole future for me to write.
I need to start somewhere.
I'll go for today
Before today is yesterday.
It might be scary,
But I'm so dizzy there are stars in my eyes,
So I don't care.
I'm going for it.
The rut is broken.
No more, 'This or that will be the time.’
This
Is
The time.
Now my head is clear.
I'm sunshine and flowers
On any day.
I'll always be happy
Whatever you say.
I look for the rainbows
And make friends with the stars.
I'll dance in a deluge.
When I slip, I won’t get scars.
I'm not oblivious.
Fake? Not me.
I know the state of the world,
But I'm really happy.
Why?
I know this:
Flowers bloom,
The sun rises,
And children laugh.
For every hurtful word
There's an encouraging hug.
For every wound
There’s a bandage hidden somewhere.
I know about the darkness,
But I live in the light.
That's why I smile like this.
Maybe I'm cool.
Maybe I'm fine,
But when I'm with you.
I lose my mind.
I might be insane,
But why use my brain?
It's fun to be stupid.
We don't break the rules,
We don't cross the lines,
But we might break our bones,
And the lines do get bent.
We're teenage girls
Expanding our worlds
And this is the best time.
To be alive.
I'm normally calm.
Compared to other kids I'm an angel,
But I'm still stupid
And smart about it.
I am careful
That as far as I can see,
The only person I could hurt is me,
So let's go a little crazy
And laugh until it hurts
And then just be.
"Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice."
These are the opening lines in Robert Frost's poem, "Fire and Ice." It might seem hard to write an essay about twelve words at the beginning of a poem, but there is actually a lot to look at because poets are so careful and intentional about their word choice.
First of all, the tone contrasts sharply with the subject matter. Obviously the end of the world is a heavy topic, but the wording doesn't fit that. It sounds like the narrator is just making a remark about the weather or some small thing like that. The tone is very offhanded. This is an interesting technique because it confuses readers and makes them think about what they're reading more. It almost offers a new perspective on the topic. This way of writing things also seems a bit sarcastic to me. It adds both weight and humor to the words, which is quite a skill.
The other thing about this opening is that it doesn't exactly sound like poetry. The tone is too casual. This is actually an effective technique because, while flowery symbolism can be ok, it's easy to get lost in some more poetic wording. Frost makes sure to get his point across so readers can understand it easily. The simple rhyme scheme throughout the rest of the poem helps with this as well. Casual language, especially when it has a meaning, is beautiful in its own way.
Overall the poem, specifically the opening, is very relatable to readers because of the wording. This just proves how important word choice is to writers and poets. I like Frost's style in this poem because it is unique and creative.
Imagine finding out that someone you know has robbed a bank. How would you handle the situation? What if you worked at the bank being robbed, would that change anything? If you yourself were also a bank robber? What then? As you can see, different people handle sin differently.
Let's look at The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, for example. In the book, Hester Prynne committed adultery and had to wear a scarlet A for the rest of her life as punishment. How did her community respond? Not well. Everybody acted shocked at her sin and they all said that her punishment was too light.
Now let's look at the Bible, in John 8. In this chapter, the people brought an adulteress to Jesus and said she should be stoned. Jesus responded in a very surprising way; He said that whoever had never sinned could throw the first stone. Of course, everyone in the crowd had sinned at some time, so they left. After that Jesus kindly told the woman to turn from her sin.
Needless to say, these two responses are dramatically different. Surely the people in Hester's community had all sinned, just like the people in John 8, but they chose only to focus on what Hester did, because it seemed worse. Jesus, on the other hand, pointed out that we are all sinners. Every small sin is despicable to God, and everyone deserves to die for their sin. We are only saved by God’s mercy, so we shouldn't condemn others.
I don't really have to say whose response was better. When dealing with someone else’s sin we should try to act like Jesus acted. As always, we get the best result when we follow His example.
In the Bible, God tells us to obey what he says. The law is spelled out pretty clearly, but it isn't always the easiest to follow. In Romans 12, we are told to submit to governing authorities. Well, what happens if those authorities tell us to do something we think is wrong? Do we submit or rebel?
The first thing we must do is evaluate the problem. What does the Bible say? If the authorities are telling us to do something that the Bible specifically tells us not to do or vice versa, we should always follow the Bible. We should submit to governing authorities except when they contradict what God says. When this happens, we should try to protest in a peaceful, godly way while being ready to take more extreme measures if necessary.
What if we know something is wrong, but the Bible doesn't say anything specific on the issue? There are probably some verses there, but they might not mention the issue by name. In any case, we should defend what is right calmly, avoiding unnecessary trouble. In either situation, the Bible should be our primary weapon.
What about history? Were past wars worth fighting to Christians? Let's take a look at the Declaration of Independence, for example. Thomas Jefferson did give several good reasons for the colonies to be upset with the King of Britain, but did these reasons have to lead to wars? Something had to be done but I don't think the situation had to be as extreme as it was. They should have protested kindly, talked it out and consulted the Bible a bit more before starting a full out revolution.
What about now? Coronavirus obsession is still going on along with Black Lives Matter protests. With the election coming up, the level of crazy in this country isn't going down. Some people post their every thought and opinion on social media. Others throw rocks at cars and burn buildings. What should we do? Like in any situation, we should follow the Bible above all. If we have to speak out, we should do so in a way that is both loving and logical.
That was a lot of words, but here is the main point of it all: be thoughtful, be careful, be peaceful, and always look at God's Word first.
Do you enjoy watching TV? I know I do, and so does most of the rest of the American population. Watching TV is a fun way to relax, but we have to do so carefully because what’s on the screen can do a lot more than just entertain us, it can change our entire worldview.
Part of the reason TV is so popular is because it has something for everyone. For children there are educational shows that teach useful life skills, but then there are pointless ones that only make the kids lazy. For families there is harmless humor, and then there are spoiled kids doing dumb stuff and oblivious adults letting them. The most popular channel for adults is the news, which shows one depressing story after another. The point is, TV has a lot of bad mixed into the good. Some popular ideas seen on TV include kids dating and worrying way too much about how they look, and people, “Following their hearts,” which the Bible says is deceitful.
This is just one tiny bit of TV’s influence. There is so much on that screen and almost all of it affects our worldviews in one way
or another. Well, what do we do? I'd try cutting down on TV time and spending those hours in God's word instead. It's ok to watch some TV, but you need to guard yourself. You can do this by turning off anything that isn't good for your mind and making sure you do other things in life as well. Next time you pick up the remote, try to think about what you're doing first.
Hello, here's my name,
But my friends call me Abby.
I live in a world
Completely my own.
My Dad used to call it Abbyland
I think it's my imagination.
I've always been a silly little girl
Wearing poofy skirts and patterned pants,
Doodling my heart out,
Scribbling down stories,
Dressing up my dolls,
Dancing along to Disney theme songs,
And making my friends laugh.
I'm a bit dramatic.
(Maybe more than a bit)
I can be serious when I want to,
I like some "boring" things,
And I'm really good at school,
But it all just adds to the vibrant mesh of me,
Who I've always been
And who I'll always be.
There's just one thing.
I'm 14 years old,
Something I never thought would happen.
I used to say I'd never be a teenager.
Well, here I am.
I'd say I'd never change,
But now I'm not so sure.
"I'll always like My Little Pony."
"No you won't."
"I'll never like a boy band."
"Yes you will."
They were right.
I don't know what happened to my pony figures
But they're gone
And I don't care like I want to.
I can't believe it
But I'm a fan of BTS.
I can't help but love their personality,
Their message,
Their music.
Is it wrong to love good music?
Am I still me if I don't watch kid shows anymore?
It all sounds so stupid,
But if that can change so fast,
What else will I gain and lose?
I'm a teenager.
How long before I dress like one?
How long before my dolls go untouched?
When will I start to hide myself in makeup?
When will violent video games rot my mind?
I don't want to grow up.
They make it sound all great on TV,
But it's a trap.
"Life goes on.”
Yes, it's great to learn and grow,
To let the bad times pass,
But what's the price?
Am I losing myself?
Am I leaving me behind?
When do we outgrow our personality?
How do I stop myself from doing it?
What if we grow too far?
What if we forget who we are?
I've never been able to go with the flow,
But I don't think I'll try or try not to grow.
I think I'll just let the real me show,
Whoever I am, wherever I go.
Maybe I'll just live for life
And like whatever I like.
Does growth have to mean change?
I could just be expanding.
The present is forming around the past;
It's like the rings of a tree
Coming in fast.
The first is still in there,
Close to the core.
Maybe it's just hiding
To make room for more.
Maybe if I let it happen
And don't go to extreme or extreme,
It'll happen gracefully.
And that tree
Will still be me.
I don't understand it all,
But here's what I know:
Right now I have a fuzzy sweater on,
Right now the world outside is beautiful,
Right now I like my dolls,
Right now I'm jamming to a boy band,
Right now there's a smile on my face,
Right now everything is ok,
And right now is a day I want to save.
No matter what the future brings,
No matter how I grow,
This is now
And I'll always have the memories.
If I ever decide
To wear ripped jeans and crop tops,
I hope I'll smile in the mirror
And remember.
I'm still the same little girl
On the inside.
Art--
My brush floats across the canvas,
Dashing to and fro.
I let all my feeling out right there,
Living colors
Of joy.
I don't need
To be shy.
There's no reason
To be afraid.
I can let myself go,
Be crazy as I want,
Dramatic as ever.
No one will judge.
Mistakes are ok,
In fact, bound to happen.
It's all part of the process.
Art makes me feel free,
Transparent as my watercolors,
Graceful as the dove
Emerging from my brush.
I can be
Whatever I want
To be!
I can capture all the beauty;
Everything magical
In the world around me,
All that I see
With my eyes.
Eyes--
They let me see the world outside.
I take it all in:
Deep blue skies,
Blooming flowers,
Falling leaves,
And soft ripples in the water.
My eyes let me see
All the people around me
With their smiling faces,
Tender looks of love,
And every emotion.
I see their eyes,
And then their personality.
Are they big and bright,
Taking it all in
With enthusiasm,
Or half closed,
Just waiting for slumber?
What about the color?
Is it clear and sure
Or dull and muddled?
Is there a mix of color--
A range as wide,
As deep,
As confusing and utterly wonderful
As the personality
Of the eye's wearer?
Please, I invite you,
Dive into the shining pool.
Of mystery.
Now please don't take for granted
This privilege that we have.
I urge you, take advantage
Of your windows to the world.
Share with those
In a world of darkness.
I want to let them see
Through my eyes
With my words.
Words--
Feeling out on paper,
Running across the screen,
Or just hanging in the air.
Feel how they twinkle and gleam!
Like the laughter of the creek,
They express our greatest joy.
Like the moaning of the wind,
They portray our every longing.
Each feeling comes alive
And is set free
By the simply clicking syllables.
Stories come to light,
Offering comfort
Or confrontation
As we step into
A whole new world
And bring back a treasure
To beautify our own.
Oh, when the right words click!
I suppose the angels sing
At the flood of satisfaction,
The completed perfection
Of one heartfelt sonet.
When I write,
It makes me feel brave
To say what is true,
To really be me!
Oh, the relife
When a smile breaks out
At the sound of my words!
Above it all,
I love the fall
Of the sounds
In every place.
It brings such a beauty
You just can’t erase.
Time--
It ripples and flows around me
Like a smooth Victorian gown.
It is studded with jewels
As the shimmering memories
Of the past.
It is hemmed a lace
Of hopes for the future.
It is based upon the silky form
Of the present
To hold it all together,
To make it fit,
And to give it use.
Time--
It is running
Like the wheel of a broken wagon.
It rolls away,
Too quick to catch,
And leaves me feeling stranded.
Stuck.
Lost.
Time--
It is here, now,
Firm as the ground below me,
Beautiful as the sky above.
What lovely ground!
Such magnificent sky!
And it's been here all along.
It's seen every memory.
Each hope is planted here.
Time is but a single thing.
The past, the future,
They both make the present.
Past,
Present,
Future,
They all make time.
I am now a new teen
And so I'm in between
Young and old,
Old and new.
I'm stuck inside my chrysalis,
Waiting to become a butterfly
But not really wanting to.
I miss being a caterpillar,
When my days were all just fun.
I’m just above the limit
Of my innocent MG books.
And just a bit too scared
For the daunting YA ones.
Too big for my old, simple bike,
Too short for my 10-speed.
Young enough still to love my dolls,
Old enough to be embarrassed about it.
I can enter the contests for teens,
But their writing all stands over mine.
I'm eye level with their elbows,
And their shoulders lock together,
Blocking out the sky for me.
The days of those clean stanzas
With ever-perfect rhyme,
They are all gone.
My words are scrambled,
But falling back together
In a lovely loose verse.
I will be a butterfly
And spread my colorful wings
With an intensified joy,
With more freedom than ever
To be me.
Are people good or evil?
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Sometimes I'm on top of the world
And I feel too good to be true.
Some days I can do no right
And think I’m just an evil mess.
Am I good or evil?
What does it even mean?
I want to say we're all good.
People show kindness to others.
We create so much beauty
With our minds.
How could we not be good?
"And God looked at all He had made
And it was very good."
We are good,
Right?
But what about the evil?
I can't help but see it all around.
Look at politics,
And tell me all is good.
There are liars and thieves,
So we can't possibly be good!
"No one is good.
No, not one.”
I refuse to believe
That people are evil.
I can't truthfully say
That we are all good.
What then?
Is the world dark or light?
Black or white?
I don't know which to choose.
I don't know what to do.
Look at the chart of shades and tints.
What is between black and white?
Each shade of gray
Is a different person.
White is good,
Black is evil,
And we are gray.
Some good and some evil in each.
We aren't good.
We aren't evil.
We're grey.
We have some of both.
Any evil defiles us,
But it doesn't have to define us.
Let the good in me
Be what counts.
You can't take away a deed,
Good can’t be erased,
But evil alone can be forgiven.
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